Weight on the brain

There's so much more to losing weight than calories and pounds.  I didn't lose 50 lbs by going on a diet.  I have been on MANY diets. Many that did not work, and many that would have worked had I been prepared MENTALLY. 

My success only started when I decided to deal with the all the extra weight in my HEAD.

Coincidentally as this post was forming, the Fitmixer bootcamp ladies topic for the week was "GARBAGE".  Oh so timely, and true!  Much of my weight loss occurred as I started to release the garbage, the negative and defeated thoughts in my brain.

There are things I just had to admit, accept and resolve inside myself before I could even begin my journey.

• I'M OBESE. 
• It wasn't a secret to anyone but me! There was no use hiding away from the world. There was no quick fix for it.  It just was my reality.  Once I stopped fighting that admission in my head, I was free to start to evolve, learn and move past it.
• THIS IS MY LIFE. 
• I couldn't keep waiting for that "X" to happen to live my life.  You know that dialogue:  When I graduate college.  When we get a nice house. When the kids grow up.  When I lose this weight. There was NO pause button.  My life was marching on with or without my participation. I could continue to sit idly on the sidelines and watch it go by, OR I could get up and start directing my own life!
• I DID THIS. 
• There was no one to blame.  There may have been underlying issues that fueled my eating - stress, guilt, anger.  I could tell you the tales of my hurdles, obstacles, hardships. But the WHY's didn't matter.  The extra pounds on my body, didn't care.  I had to take responsibility. Only I could do something to change it.
• I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY
• I could hate my situation and be miserable.  I could beat myself up for letting it get so bad.   I could fall into an abyss of  depression for overeating again, OR I could put my big girl pants on and enjoy the indulgence, be grateful that I DID realize I have a problem and was doing my best to change it, and live every moment to the fullest. 

The fitmixer gals made the best point in that webcast:  Don't resist what is to find your peace.

I didn't start to have success until I accepted my reality, realized that it had all brought me to the place where I was ready to grow, was thankful for it ALL, and used that knowledge to empower me to change my present.

I could get all worked up, stressed, angry and upset to get myself motivated.  But beating myself up only created an environment for failure. Yes, every time I beat myself up, I had an excuse to cheat, quit, or plain give up.

Case in point?  Along with the celebration of getting to the 50 mark, my brain immediately started the negative thought storm.  Why?  I have another 50 to go! 

• How are you going to do this?
• The pounds are not coming off so easily!
• You still can't keep your eating clean consistently!
• You are NO WHERE near your bootcamp goals!
• Look how hard you have been working out, and for what?!!

FACT:  Negative thoughts = Negative outcomes. 

While I should be telling you that I have finally kicked my obese bmi - I am desperately hovering over the same numbers.  The self-abuse is kicking up, and my eating has been atrocious.  Like worse than ever in all of my 50 pound journey thus far.

ENOUGH. 

TIME TO RESET. 

enjoying the journey

As I embark on the second half of this journey.  I am going back to the beginning to set up an atmosphere for further success!  I will  BE MY OWN BEST SUPPORT, and will start by acknowledging:

• I'M GETTING HEALTHIER EVERY DAY
• THIS IS MY LIFE, AND ITS A GREAT ONE
• I DID THIS (50lbs gone!) AND I WILL FINISH THIS
• I AM HAPPY!!

Is it time to reset your mental dialogue?  Hang in there, you've got this!