How does this happen? It's simple right? Anyone who can read should be able to successfully follow a recipe. Perhaps its because I have the attention span of a gnat, perhaps the character Dory was based on me, or I can blame the kids and tell you they don't allow me two consecutive minutes doing ANY activity at any time, EVER.
Regardless of the WHY, the fact is I am fairly certain I couldn't completely and accurately follow a recipe to save my life.
This is how it went down:
A few weeks back:
LOOK! NSSL has a gorgeous (almost) vegan version of a soup I haven't had in EONS!
I LOVE that soup.
Hubby might actually eat this "vegan" soup with me....
I can do this.
I'm going to make that soup!
**Kind of-sort of skim the directions**
(Several weeks go by now as I buy ingredients when I see them at the grocery store, one by one and completely from my fading memory, then subsequently forget and use them in different concoctions).
See a cooking show making soup - and remember I never made that GORGEOUS soup!
Next grocery stop I am determined to get all the ingredients. (Nope, determination doesn't spur me to look up the recipe again or make a list to get ALL the ingredients at home)
At the grocery store:
Spy YELLOW potatoes. Oooooh. I LOVE yellow potatoes, so buttery and creamy.
Fields sausages!! Score!
Kale, kale, kale, kale, kale! Reminder to self, don't use up this kale in a smoothie!
Hmmm....I think the rest of the recipe was staples.
Declare to twitter followers that I have ALL the ingredients to FINALLY make said soup - something has to hold me accountable, right?
Decide to start prepping soup ingredients at about 4 pm on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Occurs to me I need to look up the recipe as I have no idea what I am adding, let alone what quantities.
Wait...this is a CROCK POT recipe? This would be GREAT in the fall! Ok, focus - I can still do this. We would eat dinner at what, 11p?.......?!!! THAT's not going to work. Okay, okay, I can do this in a pot, right? You can make soup in a pot. Ok!
Onions, onions....oh crap. My onions went bad last week. No onions. OH, RED onion! What's the difference again? Um, okay close enough.
Garlic! Chopped garlic. How many teaspoons per clove? Oh well. I LIKE garlic. Let's add LOTS.
Russet potatoes? Oh, those went bad too. Yellow potatoes are sooo buttery and creamy though. I love yellow potatoes! That'll be good!
Only have cherry tomatoes. THOSE are pretty. Dice? I'll just cut them in half. They're so little! Oh darn, that wasn't suppose to go IN the pot?
White wine. white wine? I don't remember that at all. Hmmm, I have white wine vinegar....noooo, that can't be the same. Skip it.
Okie dokie, searching, searching, searching. YES! - I DO have vegetable broth. Good thing, 'cause that pot is sizzling! I need to add some liquid, fast!
How many ounces are in a cup?
**break for kid referring**
Was that four or five cups I added?
Hmm...that's it? Awesome!
But....well.... I like me some spice!
*liberally shake in some pepper.......add a little more......resist the urge to start tossing in other "italian-y" spices**
Boil, boil, boil pot! I guess a watched pot doesn't boil. Well, what do you know?
FINALLY boiling. Set on low and cover.
Actually read the recipe directions.
Realize I have no DAIYA! Oh good, it says optional. Aww, I love me some daiya - poo.
OH, so the tomatoes were a gar-nish!
So if its 4-6 hours in a crock pot, how long is that in regular pot time???
Its starting to smell good!! I must have done something right!
So in the end, this is how I
4 Italian "sausages" (vegan Field Roast)
32 ish ounces
Chicken broth (vegetarian, if desired)
2 cups Water (added later just realized it was actually in the ingredient list!)
⁄2 cup White Wine
black pepper to taste
I could pretend that I am just sooo creative in the kitchen, and meant to do this. And ultimately these shananigans would be fine when I actually end up with a tasty concoction. But I NEVER end up marking up the original recipe, because I am delusional and think I will ONE DAY do it right. OR that I will remember what I changed!! - HA! I crack me up.
So there you have it. Kelly, if you're still reading, I'm sooo sorry! I'm sure your version is phenomenal as it likely actually took careful thought and planning.
What was that? How did it turn out you say?
SUPER tasty! And yes Kelly, HUSBAND approved!! (I did manage to save some for him after devouring a good portion of it - so yum!)
I am definitely giving it another go. I may even follow the directions this time and enjoy the FULL awesomeness of this recipe!